Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 


Well, after a great deal of beating the apparently dead horse that was my Email account, we have Confic signs! Which is good, since that means (provided I'm able to take a further crack at the plot in the next few days) the next time we're at Kevin & Donna's, there will be substantially less for Kevin & I to work on. Which means less time being harrassed by Mel, who for some peculiar reason feels that we should be getting up off our asses and writing the fic, since it's nary a month away now.

Weird, huh?

In other news, I have found a test that is both English- and win-filled. Alas, 'tis not my creation. But it's still filled with awesomeness. After I read it the first time, I giggled insanely for a few minutes. After rereading it a few minutes ago, I'm starting to seriously think this sort of written test (and the passing of it) should be a prerequisite for anyone writing a fanfic. Or attempting to delve into some of the more crack-infused fandoms out there. At least then you'd get forewarnings on which authors/fandoms to avoid.




The link itself can be found here: http://redscharlach.livejournal.com/120637.html

Labels: a test for all the scary fanwriters out there, Confic 07, sexyblog

posted by Phillip at 9:25 PM

 

Gemini Jetpack's inevitable departure comes closer to reaching its deadline. This became all the more apparent when Mel & I stopped in yesterday and discovered that their incredible video collection had been reduced to...well, a paltry fraction of the glory it had once been. So I guess the firesale they'd been hinting at happened--though damned I know when this suddenly occured.

It's rather sad to see the once mighty selection so terribly diminished, though the silver lining in the cloud is that all the still-present titles are available for purchase. And while I'm not particularly fond of the circumstances surrounding my reason for acquiring it, I finally managed to nab the Haunted Junction box set. (A remarkable feat unto itself, since production on the DVDs was discontinued years ago, and the box set is nigh impossible to find for purchase...beyond the obvious Youtube or BitTorrent.)

So at least I have Haunted Junction to remember Gemini by. There's about 2 weeks left before it closes its doors for the last time. I'll have to make sure and stop by in the last few days to giving my fond farewells.

In other news, this morning I have been sorely tempted to rehire those flying monkeys at the store. (Bad enough I have to contend with meltdowns on days I'm not there at all, now it's happening on days I'm slated to work, but just haven't started my shift yet. Grrr, argh!) Hence the reason the subtle, sinister and probably some other alliterative word that starts with 'S' mission to find something a little more cubicle-based has begun.

Huzzah!

Which brings us to Today's Poking: Kevin, I still need the updated Confic file lurking on your computer, as my Email never saw fit to let me mail the file to myself when we were visiting. The sooner, the happier. ^-^

Labels: flying monkeys strike back, goodbye Gemini Jetpack, need Confic

posted by Phillip at 8:22 AM

 


By now, we have completely forgotten what the initial statement was supposed to have been, but all I managed to hear out of it was:

"Vampire butt chewing?"

On the plus side, a great deal of Conficcage was written last night. Somewhere amidst the underwear jokes, really bad Chaosfics (and amazingly enough, we discovered that the old Chaosfic list had not in fact been destroyed. Gloriously bad pun-ridden titles, they return!!) and the Hysteria rants, I think we've got a plotline!


[Cue the Confic hype!]


Narrator: "As the Fanboys debated the finer points of alcohol abuse, the door to the laundry room was thrown open and a small tan-and-white hamster came running out, screaming and waving a pair of boxers over her head."

Ebichu: "EMERGENCY, DECHU! EMERGENCY, DECHU!"

Carnage: "Oh great... what the hell do you want now, Ebichu?"

Hotaru: "You guys have a hamster for a housekeeper?"

Pesti: "She works for cheese. With all the repairs we have to make, she's all we can afford.”

Demolition: “So what is it, Ebichu?”

Ebichu: “Ebichu was washing the Fanboys laundry, dechu! She used the new washing machine in there...”

Mayhem: “Wait, what new washing machine?”

Carnage: “The only new machine in there is that Decepticon I was fixing...”

Demolition: “You gave our laundry to Megatron?!”

Ebichu: “He converted the clothes to Energon cubes and left, dechu!”



^-^ See?

Labels: Chaosfic, Confic 07, Decepticons stole my laundry, vampire butt chewing

posted by Phillip at 7:58 AM

 

I've spent the last week or so blitzing through the Fruba manga in an effort to curb all the other rage-inducing work activities. (What can I say? Cursed Sohmas calm me.) After reading the volume where Kyo's true form is revealed, I indulged in my inner Chaos and laughed to myself, "Hey, it's not so bad for Kyo; there are other mutants out there who can transform like him."

And then I laughed further at the mere notion of an Xmen/Fruba crossover. I mean, who would ever write something as ridiculous as that?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2441128/1/

Oops.

But at least it's a short single chapter that never did seem to end up with a following...or successive chapters. Hallelujah?

And speaking of hallelujah's, here's something a little more inspired to help you forget about that crossover: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi2t58CRmbU

Today's Lesson: no matter how cracked the idea might be, if you can think it, someone's already written a fanfic about it on the Net. And the odds are it's not good.

Labels: crossovers, Fruba, it's raining spartans, make the badfics stop, tempting fate

posted by Phillip at 12:38 AM

 


It has been a long day, and most of it drifted maliciously between slightly-vexing and I'd-kill-someone-if-I-wasn't-so-damned-tired.

There was the getting up earlier than usual part. There was also the terminating someone and collecting their keys from them part (which was surprisingly pleasant and easy, and made all the prior stress from envisioning the bad ways it could have transpired all the more aggravating). There was the scuttling quickly over to the old/original store (which looked a lot smaller than I remembered it) to pull a full shift there as a favour. And then there was the phone call that, surprise, the evening shifter at my current store has not shown up; leading in turn to an extra 3 hours of work at the store.

You can insert your "replace with flying monkey" rant here at your leisure. I already did.

And there is wet snow blowing all higgledy-piggledy outside.

It's enough to make a blogger say, "Screw this, I'm going to bed." Which coincidentally will be exactly what I say and follow up on when this little bit of nowhere is finished.

I haven't exactly been reduced to Crotchety McCrankypants yet, but I do seem to possess a rather venomous displeasure at the world currently lurking outside my door. I shall be glad when today comes to an end, and I can rest my sore & aching neck on a new, fluffy pillow.

(The old, "flat as a board/Lina Inverse's chest" pillow has since been retired, and in all likelihood was the main contributing factor to why I woke up this past Sunday to discover there were muscles in my neck I never knew I had. And that apparently, they'd all simultaneously managed to get themselves pulled or strained in thoroughly painful ways.)

So fare thee well, good night and pleasant dreams. I look forward to all of those things. Especially the pleasant dreams. It means I wasn't wearing pants in any of them.

What?

You actually thought that despite the nastiness of the day, I wouldn't have the energy or ridiculous gall to toss in another pants joke? For shame!

Labels: I dream of pants, malicious days, more flying monkey action

posted by Phillip at 8:58 PM

 

The Easter weekend has fallen upon us once again. In the last few years, I've found that I appreciate the Easter holidays for a rather unique reason. It's not religious. It's not because of any familial gatherings. It's because the malls are closed for the Friday and Sunday, guaranteeing me two days (not back to back, mind you, but I'm not about to raise a ruckus over it) wherein I do not have to worry about the store, period.

Hooray for an inherent absence of flying monkey tirades!

All in all, the weekend has gone off rather well. Gary was down for the Friday, and Saturday night saw the last major family & friends gathering we'll have before my sister heads off to Holland for two months. (They have exchange programs for hospitals too, apparently.)

Two days off and 26 episodes of Angelic Layer later, I sit here contemplating a napping Mel in the living room, and the dreadfully abysmal skies outside my window. I am disliking the recent "fuck you" dance Winter is performing on our front lawn. I think it needs to be shot. Many times. With many large calibre weapons. And then tossed into a wood chipper and used as fertilizer for the budding flowers of spring.

(Note to self: don't watch CSI before making vengeful posts like this. It scares the readership.)

Alas, my loyal visitors of this little bit of nowhere, I should probably scuttle off and get something resembling a meal prepared. Mel needs to be poke awake shortly, otherwise she'll be up all night. Which she might not entirely object to, since she's trying to work up enough cash to buy a bull for Harvest Moon, but as she was the one who told me not to let her sleep too much, a poking is probably for the best.

Today's Lesson: chocolate is indeed filled with love and awesomeness (awesomness? Is there an extra 'e' in there? How about a silent 'x'?)

Labels: a lack of flying monkey tirades, death to winter, Easter

posted by Phillip at 3:48 PM

 


Today has saddened me. Not because of more examples at work about the whole "replacing existing staff with flying monkeys" thing, happily. But alas, our local anime & manga hub, Gemini Jetpack, will be closing its doors for good at the end of April. There's a fair bit contributing to their decision to close, not the least of which is that multiple family were recently diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Still, for the last few years Gemini remained our happy hook-up. They'd always get the new manga, and their anime library (which outclasses even Gary's collection) was entirely rental-based. Granted, the arrival of YouTube has crushed that a fair bit, since people can download and watch for free...but I really liked renting a DVD to see if I'd want to collect a series. There are a few occasions where that saved me from taking a risk and buying some seriously bad anime.

And the manga! Mel & I have multiple, ongoing collections. Gemini had a list of our collections and would always set aside the newest volume(s) for us whenever they came in. I was on an exclusive members list, dammit! Since I'm not big into the club scene, this is the closest I can get to feeling all trendy & VIPish.

I can't say I blame the owners for closing shop, but I'm really going to miss Gemini, and I am going to miss them too. Not only were they cool people, but they knew their anime. They were comic lovers and otaku. And best of all, they had a great sense of humour, enough to laugh at some of the silly things found in anime and its various fandoms.

I wish Gemini and its crew all the best, but that won't stop me from mourning the passing of a wonderful shop.

And now, with all the dramallama over & done with (since pyjamallama doesn't seem to be garnering a following, I've switched to something more alliterative), let's move on to Today's Lesson: snow in April is wrong (unless, of course, you're in the upper northern or southern regions...or in a mountain range). Someone must inform Winter of this.

Labels: a lack of flying monkeys, Gemini Jetpack, pyjamallama

posted by Phillip at 9:02 PM

 

After 2 days off, both of them being spent away from the city as we celebrated Mel's birthday, I have returned to discover that apparently it's better for everyone if I fired all my employees and left a team of flying monkeys in charge of the store during any absences of mine. I mean, sure, the monkeys would be rather prone to throwing their feces all over the place...but that might actually be a good thing, depending on how annoying the customer is at the time. And you never know: I might get a few lines of Shakespeare out of them in the process too.

It's certainly shaping up though that said monkeys might actually be more dependable and competent than most of the current crew I have, which does make me wonder just what the hell has happened to said employess in the last 4-6 months. Either the aliens left behind some pretty sad clones (and thusly should do a recall), or there's something in the Cheerios (probably due to the evil machinations of the Evidence Mice).

This whole thing has left me rather happy to know that I'll at least have Friday and Sunday guaranteed off and unfucked in my absence, given the whole Easter thing. Unless the store burns down. In which case I'll be left wondering if that was truly a bad thing, or maybe God showing mercy upon me.

Meh.

Labels: Evidence mice, flying monkeys, store stupidities

posted by Phillip at 5:42 AM